February 10, 2016
I’m one of those people with an eclectic taste in everything, especially music. I grew up listening to mostly the music my family and friends listened to, Soul and R&B, Funk, Hip Hop, Jazz, Classical, Classic Rock, Metal, Grunge, Alternative, New Music and Punk. In other words, Prince. My inability to stay out of trouble led me to fall in love with 80’s bands like The Clash, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, The Ramones, Public Image LTD, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Jam, Suicidal Tendencies, etc. When I met Natalia Kobrapuke aka Наталия Кобрарвота @ToxicDelirium on Twitter online last year, we became fast friends. She’s from a younger generation, but we had a lot to talk about and became friends. I knew right away that I wanted to know more about her Toxic Delirium / Dark Frequencies (on soundcloud) music and I hope you’ll enjoy our interview:
Caramel: The term Toxic Delirium means delirium caused by the action of a poison. Why did you choose this title for your music?
Natalia: i live life like a slutty transgirl hunter s. thompson. we cant stop here. this is bat country. i trip daily. toxic delirium is a shortened form of acute toxic psychosis.live by the trip, die by the trip.
Caramel: Do you play all the instruments yourself?
Natalia: yes i play many instruments. i play the shuitar, drums, bass, and i gather sound fx from youtube to trip my darlins out.
Caramel: When and why did you start playing? Do you come from a musical family?
Natalia: i started playing music partly cuz most of my family is professional musicians. my dad, grandfather, uncles, and great grand fajah were and are playing shows round the world. i began the toxic delirium projekt to drive myself insane with psychedelix and record my trippy frequencies. slutterpunk til death do us part.
Caramel: What was the first song you learned?
Natalia: the first song i learned is nofx louise. im a nasty lil transgirl lesbo.
Caramel: “She gotta walk with a silicone cock… Slut you think you’ve seen your master mean?” You mean that NOFX-Louise! Which famous musicians do you admire and why? What lesser known musicians do you admire?
Natalia: my favorite musicians be gutterpunx. i love brody dalle. the devotckas. gbh gg allin the exploited sham 69 uk subs endangered feces all things punk and goth and metal.slayer slipknot blue felix. i fucking love blue felix. theyre my darlins. minor threat. black flag. crass. im a transgirl gg allin.
Caramel: Who was your first teacher or musical mentor?
Natalia: my fajah was my first musical mentor. he plays synthesizers in a gnarly band in portland oregon.
Caramel: Were you influenced by old records, tapes and CDs? If so, which ones?
Natalia: yes i was influenced by many things. civil war songs, battlefield anthems, punk rock in general, gg allin is my favorite motherfucker that ever lived.
Caramel: What are your fondest musical memories?
Natalia: my fondest musical memories are the blitzkrieg toxic delirium shows in the nyc gutters.
Caramel: A whole new world opened up for me at CBGB at Omfug back in the day. I think that’s part of the reason we connected in the first place. Have you been in competitions?
Natalia: ive never been in competitions. shits corny. i make music for the art of it.
Caramel: What advice would you give to beginners?
Natalia: for beginners i would say eat psychedelix and play your instrument every day. make it a part of your soul and you will become one with it on some zen shit.
Caramel: What makes a good session?
Natalia: good psychedelix, good people, gnarly instruments and surroundings are always the shit.
Caramel: How do you balance your music with other obligations; mate, job, family?
Natalia: i stay gutterpunk. i have no job. my music is my life as well as is my art and pornstar lifestyle.i be the pharaoh dona of the crimson kamikaze mafia. lgbtq art and musick mafia. gutter empyres rise.
Caramel: Where did you grow up and when did you first realize you were different, and when did you first begin dressing as a girl?
Natalia: i began dressing as a girl when i started growing boobs and got an hourglass figure. in arizona as a not doing of the self and i stuck with it. im a shaman. where did i grow up? i was born in moscow and lived thru the chernobyl incident in pripyat. i then moved to the usa and continue to be the chillest hottest russian mobster tranny that ever lived.
Caramel: Did you ever get bullied for it?
Natalia: no i murder everyone that says one word of shit to me. mafia bitch for life. fuck with me youll disappear into the staten island shipwreck graveyards.
Caramel: How long have you had this tight little figure of yours? Do you or have you ever had to work out to stay in shape?
Natalia: ive always had my auschwitz figure. i am a vegetarian. i eat some fish and eggs. i do mad yoga and martial arts. i study under ashida kim , he is my shinobi san and im am his kunoichi. i also study jeet kune do and mixed martial arts.
Caramel: I studied Jiu Jitzu, not Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do. They’re so different. But it doesn’t matter what style you learn. It’s how well you learn it. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t fuck with you. When did you begin taking hormones? Was it DIY or with a physician?
Natalia: i started taking hormones when i went to the callen/lorde clinic in nyc and they explained to me that i am a 3rd gender.
Caramel: That’s a short walk from where I was born. Moving in a different direction, when did you first have sex?
Natalia: i had sex for the first time with a total stranger at a truck stop. she was a lesbian and she pounded me out in the girls bathroom with a pink strapon.
Caramel: I’ve only tried that at home. Would you consider yourself mainly bisexual? Pansexual?
Natalia: i am trisexual. i fuck standard issue girls, yum transgirl foxbombs, and girled out bois.
Caramel: Me too. I identify as pansexual, though. Are you currently attached?
Natalia: i currently have a girlfriend yes. her name is amy. here are her photos:
Natalia: aint she adorable? i love her with all i gots.
Caramel: I was thinking more along the lines of bad muthfucka or hot as fuck, but I can go with adorable, too. What sort of sex do you prefer, vanilla sex, fetish, BDSM?
Natalia: i am a transgirl dominatrix and a prostitute $100 bux a night anything goes.
Caramel: What incorrect assumptions do people often make of you?
Natalia: people call me sir then i slash their throats in the night for that shit. gutterpunk mobster bitch.
Caramel: Is living for you as a musician a big struggle?
Natalia: being a musician is not a struggle. i enjoy every fucking moment of it. im a trippy little nymphomaniac.
Caramel: Do you have any particular trans porn inspirations?
Caramel: How do you feel about trans porn? How important to you is the thought of “selling out?”
Natalia: i will never sell out. here is a song for you: toxic-delirium-volatile
Caramel: Where would you like to see yourself 5 years from now?
Natalia: where would i like to see myself five years from now? living on a ship sailing the worlds oceans playin shows every night on that shit. rebuild the rms titanic. thats my shit. i was madeleine astor in my past life.
Caramel: Madeleine Astor, John Jacob Astor IV’s wife – a pregnant woman who survived the sinking of the Titanic. I don’t know why, but I get it. Thanks for the interview, love.
Natalia: Cheers darlin. Much love.