October 25, 2016
I like the way Sera Glam runs her social media presence. There is an overstepping of boundaries between sissies and trans women prevalent in today’s social media. One of my pet peeves is seeing trans models in sissy captions and memes in my Twitter feed. I love feminization, but I don’t like seeing trans and sissies categorized together unless it involves something I might do in my free time in real life. I only have a few friends who identify as both. The irresponsibility of blending these two different worlds together most often causes anger and resentment and the LGBTQ community is quick to call out homophobic and transphobic attitudes and words, particularly the term “sissy” that they regard as demeaning. Many find memes with transgenders with sissy captions highly offensive because there is a line between acceptable and unacceptable usage that you’d think would be easy to decipher. But when gender, sexuality, and fantasy are thrown together online, the results often end up in controversy and in hot debate.
While exploring why this cross-branding is happening, I consider that some people find themselves deeply involved in the concept of reclaiming epithets, especially with phrases with an especially painful history. This sometimes adds to the confusion for those who do not understand the process. For decades, the term “sissy” was and still is used as one of the most hateful as a particularly hurtful synonym for an effeminate male, and its application in this particular context is meant to produce shame and derision. Sometimes it refers to a man who exhibits a particularly stereotypical notion of effete homosexuality. In a transgender context, however, it most often refers to a biological male who willingly mimics and eagerly takes on hyper-feminine attitudes for the sake of sexual gratification. Some sissies crave all the humiliation that comes with online exposure. In my interview with Sera Glam, I hope to provide insight into her life and to explore the overall concepts of Sissification, Feminization, Sissy Exposure and her ability to switch into a more dominant mode.
Caramel: I’ve always felt that there is a sharp distinction between those who practice transvestic fetishism and non-fetishist crossdressing, and those who identify strongly with the opposite gender in ways that go well beyond a sex act. The two are often related, though, particularly when one contemplates that feelings of humiliation linked to a reversal of traditional gender roles are present. In some cases, I’ll find other trans women who identify as sissies, but that’s more rare. As a lifestyle trans dominatrix, most sissies I come across are part-time girls with no desire to transition. Are you considering living as a trans woman someday or do you identify as a crossdresser or transvestite?
Sera: Lol, right out of the gate with a tough question. I like it. I honestly don’t have an answer to that question right now because, to be completely honest, I’m not sure how I identify anymore. It’s actually a question that has come up a lot in my mind very recently. Before, crossdressing was more of an outlet for the way I was feeling inside. But now it’s become such a large part of my life that I’m actually finding myself happier en femme rather than being a normal guy. The thought of living as a trans woman has crossed my mind a lot recently, and to be perfectly honest I feel like I would have to do a lot more soul searching before I had an answer to that. I’m starting to question how truly I identify sexually and continuously calling into question my gender. However, if I were to “pull the trigger’ so to speak on transitioning, I’m not sure if I could take the physical and emotional toll of changing the entire life that I have built. Like I said, I have a bit more soul searching to do, but living my life as a trans woman is always on my mind.
Caramel: Before I met sissies online and in real life, I had little knowledge of the very notion of the “sissy” lifestyle. Growing up as I did, one was never supposed to be such a thing, and the word found its way into many a schoolyard taunt. Even now I can’t hear it and not cringe a bit when it’s used as an attack. However, I’m often attracted to submissive males and I have fun with dominating them sexually. I first became aware of Feminization and Sissification through porn. How did you find out about it?
Sera: I think I found out through porn as well. For the past several years, I have been fascinated with trans women in porn and have taken quite an interest in that particular form of pornography. There’s an old saying I see on the Internet a lot. It’s “tumblr changed my life” and that seems to be the truth. In fact, the whole genre of feminization and sissification only became aware to me after I started crossdressing and putting things in my ass for fun. I mean, I knew it existed, but never paid much attention to it until I was living it.
Sera: Hmmm, it’s hard to say. I know my reasons for wanting exposure or humiliation and I believe everyone has their own reasons. I think that their theories do have merit, but I also believe that it’s not as black and white as all that. Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do and to be honest, the only way you will truly know is if you ask them yourself.
Caramel: Looking 100% passable as a female isn’t something I see as a problem for you, but it’s an unattainable goal for lots of sissies as it is for so many other people who don’t identify this way. A lot of experienced admirers don’t even raise the bar that high. But they do expect a sissy to at least make an effort to feminize their appearance as much as possible. They expect to see a sissy in ultra feminine clothing and makeup, making sure that any facial and body hair is shaved clean. How do you balance the way you present yourself in social and work situations without revealing your sissy lifestyle?
Sera: Sera: I like your word choice “balance” because that’s exactly what it is. It’s a balancing act of showing some people who you pretend to be and other who you want to be. I crossdress as a form of showing people who I feel like I should be. Having to balance who you are and who you want to be is nothing new to the transgender community, but it’s a completely new concept to me. When I crossdress, I try to be as feminine as possible by way of shaving everything on my body and my face, basically meaning I have to come up with some kind of excuse as to why my legs are so smooth and soft or why I shaved off my beard. I’ve been trying to make myself more feminine by eating less gross foods and trying to work on my figure, looking into permanent hair removal solutions and stuff like that. It’s actually become a goal of mine now, to become as feminine as possible. My job is basically a factory worker, meaning I work all day in a place that requires safety glasses and jeans and steel toe boots – hardly the place for feminine anything. I’m constantly having to juggle being a normal(ish) guy within the workplace and being a girl online and it’s getting harder and harder to hide it to the point where I just don’t want to hide it anymore.
Caramel: How would you feel if everyone in your life discovered the truth about your sissy side?
Sera: I don’t know how I would feel if everyone found out. Part of me would be relieved that I don’t have to hide it anymore. However, the other part of me is terrified how my life would change from that point on. Currently, nobody in my life is aware of that side of me. I plan on letting a few people know about it soon enough, but until that happens, I’m still terrified of what will happen if my secret gets out.
Caramel: To be more specific about how I discovered the subculture of Feminization, also known as Sissification, the practice of switching the gender role of a male submissive first online at a social media website named FetLife. You’re there under fetlife.com/users/5187318 where anyone of age can create a free profile and I love yours. As a dominant trans woman, I received lots of friend requests from males in several different stages of a process informally known as sissification. I was often ask to provide feminization for submissive males where I’d dress them in female attire, ranging from just wearing female undergarments to being fully dressed in very feminine attire, including make-up, hairdressing and nail polish. In some cases, I’d give them tasks in which their behavior and roles required being overtly feminine. I’d teach them to adopt female mannerisms and postures in tasks such as sitting, walking, and acting in an exaggerated feminine manner. I’d often incorporate emasculation coupled with punishments such as spanking or flogging to gain cooperation and to heighten submission of submissive male. Begging and pleading to stop the feminization would often be part of the fantasy. As a Mistress, my responsibility was to know when I might be pushing a sissy beyond their limits. How do you determine your limits and do they change?
Sera: Currently, my only limits are physical. Okay that may be the wrong choice of words. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t really have many limits at the moment. The only limits that I’m willing to accept are the ones that directly reveal my sissy side to those who are not aware of it. I’ve already looked into such things like hormone treatments and permanent hair removal, but until I tell people in my life how I feel on the inside about my gender role and sexuality, anything that permanently changes my physical appearance is completely off the table. I routinely dress in full make-up, nail polish, clothes and undergarments and I’ve already adopted many feminine mannerisms just so that I may become more feminine, so my limits are…..limited, pun intended. In terms of sexual limitations, I guess my answer is I’ll try almost anything once.
Caramel: As long as you don’t allow anyone to push you into something you’re not ready for, you’ll be just fine. That goes for both transition and the kink scene. Costumes are sometimes very domestic, suggestive of servitude or age play. The clothes may be from those of a traditional submissive female role, such as schoolgirl, secretary or a “sissy” maid, to a princess. What are some acts of role play that you enjoy?
Sera: Oh jeez, I love roleplay! I mean I’m quite terrible at actually roleplaying, but I love dressing in the outfits/costumes that come with roleplaying. I love the idea of dressing as a slutty schoolgirl and teasing daddy until he takes advantage of me, or dressing as a submissive house maid cleaning your house and keeping our scandalous secret from your wife. You know, that sort of thing. If anybody stumbles across my Twitter page or my PornHub page, they’ll notice that dressing up in various costumes or “cosplaying” is actual a major part of my life. I love pretending to be something and acting out a fantasy and roleplaying specific roles is the perfect way to do that! My own tastes in costumes are anything tight fitting (usually superhero costumes or spandex/latex suits) and more traditional outfits like maids, schoolgirls, office secretary, cheerleader….the list goes on for a while actually.
Caramel: Finding the right partner is key with roleplaying. You’re familiar with Forced Feminization including the sub receiving anal sex from a female using a strap-on dildo (sometimes called pegging), or penetration from another male, or group of males. Then there are butt plugs and other anal-penetrative toys that may also be used. Anal sex is used because it may be perceived to be feminine due to its traditional use on women in heterosexual relationships, or due to the passive/receiving/submissive being penetrated, whereas the typical male role may be judged to be more active/dominant. Alternatively, the feminized male may be “forced” to perform oral sex on another male. How far have you gone in D/s relationships like this?
Sera: I’ve gone all the way in my sub relationships. See, my one goal when I’m en femme is to be as much as a woman as I possibly can. When I’m all done up and doing my thing the only thing as a woman, I’m 100% a sub. I’ll only receive anal and I’ll perform oral as much as I want because I feel like I have no restrictions when I’m en femme. I’ve had discrete encounters with a few men in the past year or so and each time I’ve received anal and performed oral on them happily. Pardon my language but I’ve taken it in the ass and blown multiple men multiple times and I have no intention of stopping or changing my role. I’ve never been forced to do anything I never wanted to do and I’ve enjoyed doing all of it.
Caramel: I find that all quite arousing to hear about. Another common practice in feminization is orgasm control, often through the use of a chastity belt. Also encountered in feminization are the following: erotic humiliation, bondage, petticoating, cuckoldry, leather, latex/PVC, infantilism, corporal punishment, etc. What if any of of these activities appeal to you mostly?
Sera: I have a lot of sexual interests, lol. Like I said before, I’m willing to try almost anything at least once. I love bondage, chastity, public humiliation, age play, latex/spandex/PVC/lycra and stuff like that. If I could I could, I’d probably be in a chastity device 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!
Caramel: Someone you meet someday might not want to leave you with much of a choice as far as chastity goes. Feminization can also involve the conversion of a masculine name into a feminine name such as “Stephen” into “Stephanie”, “Joseph” into “Josephine”, or “Daniel” into “Danielle”, as part of a constructed feminine persona. The submissive male may also be given feminine name that is different from his male name, referred to as “a good girl”, or insulted and degraded with derogatory terms usually applied to women, such as “slut” or “whore”. How did you choose your name?
Sera: Choosing my name was almost completely random. It’s not even close in any way to my real name. I’ve always liked the name Sera and I actually use that name a lot when gaming. I’m a huge gamer. I play a lot of games ranging from shooters to RPGs.
Any chance I get to play a game where I can create my own character, I always go with a female named Sera. As for Glam, I guess I just wanted something pretty sounding in my name. I wanted the name to be able to be used in both a cute kind of girly way, but also identifiable and recognizable.
Caramel: I love your avatar on Twitter by @BemannenReturns. How did that come into development?
Sera: Ohhhh @BemannenReturns ….That guy is going to ruin me, but in a good way! I believe the first time I saw his artwork was a piece he did for Natalie Mars. I fell in love with it instantly and knew I had to commission him! I love the Glam Lantern piece he did so much that I’m thinking about getting it printed and framed! I’m actually waiting for another piece I commissioned from him. I can’t wait to see it! It’s actually taking him a lot longer to get this new one done than the other and if he sees this……dude, HURRY UP! Lol. In all seriousness though, he’s an amazing artist and deserves every penny he asks for and everybody should check him out and commission his work.
Caramel: I think it’s a pretty name and great for branding. When did you first begin experimenting with dressing as a girl? When did you first go out in public en femme?
Sera: I believe I first began crossdressing about a year and a half ago, maybe two? Something along those lines. Crossdressing actually came after experimenting sexually by trying out anal play and stuff like that. After finding out that I prefer putting things in my butt, I began experimenting with crossdressing and the rest just kind of fell into place. I have actually never gone out in public en femme before. It’s still a very secret part of my life and so going out publicly is not an option for me until I’m comfortable enough with letting people see me the way I want them to so me.
Caramel: I’m excited about you getting out for the first time and I want the 411 on all that when it happens! Can you have a satisfying sexual experience when you’re not in a submissive role?
Sera: I don’t think that I can now to be honest. Being a submissive crossdresser is a major part of my life now to the point where I prefer that as opposed to normal sex.
Caramel: Part of your description reads “BBC Addicted” slut on your Twitter account. That pretty much gets me turned in itself, but how did your particular affection for big black cock develop?
Sera: Hehehe, I’m glad it turns you on so much. Well, I guess I’m kind of a spoiled brat when it comes to my sexual needs. I prefer bigger and better things. BBC porn has always been a huge turn on for me, and once I found out I love getting pounded in the ass by men, I knew that I would love receiving anal from BBC. I don’t know, it’s a sort of craving I have when I’m really horny that I can’t explain, lol.
Caramel: No need to try and explain it. I don’t know why that whole scene turns me on either, or interracial sex overall for that matter. I love same ethnic background sex, too. Questioning and analyzing takes the fun out of it in my humble opinion. How did you first discover you liked BDSM? By the way, you work with dominatrix mode well when you want to.
Sera: BDSM has always been a fascination of mine, the thought of being tied up and fucked just simply gets me going. I’ve watched a lot of BDSM/Bondage porn and I always knew it was something I was into. The feeling of helplessness is such a stimulating feeling. It’s just such a rush when your unable to move or stop what’s happening to you and around you (in a safe way of course) that you just never want it to stop.
Caramel: How do you identify sexually?
Sera: Ah yes, the sexuality question. I knew this would come up. Short answer….it’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain the best i can. When I’m not en femme, I identify as straight. I have no sexual urges towards men and I don’t think about cocks or getting anal or blowing anybody. When I’m in my feminine mindset and I’m all dolled up and stuff, my orientation completely changes and all I want is men. I guess the best way to describe it is bisexual, but that may be just simplifying it. Like I said before, I’ve recently called my own sexual orientation into question multiple times. I’m finding that I’m preferring dressing en femme and the sexual company of men more often than I do normal sexual company with women. See what I mean? It’s annoyingly complicated for me right now.
Caramel: I totally understand and and labeling people is irresponsible. If you told me how all over the place I’d be sexually today when I was much younger, I’d never have believed it. Back to roleplay, maid training was one of my first requests from a sissy as a Domme. During maid training, submissives perform the duties typically expected of a domestic maid. This may include cleaning the house, cooking meals, and washing clothes. I’d teach the submissive how to properly behave with lessons in curtsying, deportment, and how to dress. I’d oversee the submissive’s duties and administer punishment if they are not performed to a satisfactory standard. Punishments may involve spanking or flogging, humiliation, bondage, confinement, or anal punishment. I’d also require them to wear costumes to enhance the role playing exercise such as a traditional frilly French maid’s outfit or a type of fetish wear, such as a rubber maid’s outfit. Such costumes can also help display a maid’s submission and devotion to me. Have you ever been trained as a maid or would you like to be?
Sera: I have never been trained as a maid, however I would very much like to be! It’s one of those things that I really want to try, but due to my schedule, it’s just been hell finding the time and dedication that’s needed to really be trained by a master. Maybe I should quit my job and just come down and live with you for a couple weeks, have you train me personally.
Caramel: And this is my favorite part of this interview. When my ship comes in and I can support two people financially, you might get a request from me. Something I’ve never specialized in but that intrigues me is Petticoating – a type of fantasy role play. This practice is said to have originated as a form of punishment in Victorian times although it may have come about even earlier. Petticoating enthusiasts enact this in order to achieve sexual arousal and often engage in the practice with the aid of a dominant figure who aims to humiliate them. Petticoating is sometimes referred to as pinaforing, pinafore eroticism, or pinafore. Have you ever explored Petticoating or does it appeal to you if you haven’t already?
Sera: I’ve actually never heard of petticoating until you brought it up! I had to google it just to find out what it was so that whole practice is completely unknown to me, but it seems like a fun thing to try. I believe I would be up to try it out!
Caramel: It’s getting harder and harder for me to keep this professional! We’ll discuss this further privately. I follow @PrincesAshley69 and her timeline is quite titillating. Princess Ashley is an aspiring trans porn star and your “Queen” as described on Twitter. How did you connect with her? I love it when other trans women are open-minded about your lifestyle and find it exciting and refreshing.
Sera: I believe she actually got in contact with me. We had been following each other for a little while and never really talked before that. Then one day I think she either commented on one of my pictures or sent me a message and started talking and the rest is history! I consider her one of my best friends, and yeah we flirt A LOT! We agree on a lot of the same things and have a lot of the same interests. Aspirations of being porn stars are one of them. She’s usually always there when I need someone to talk to and that’s true of a lot of my friends on Twitter like @SalaciousShana and @TutuTrap91 have been super awesome as well as @TSEVA010 @bloomingm2f and @HarleenDeville …..sorry, I feel like i just hijacked our interview to plug my friends. XD lol
Caramel: It’s okay. Say hi to Shana and Eva for me. I’ve always believed that a crossdresser feels comfortable dressed in the clothing of the opposite sex and a transvestite sexualizes the practice. In my experience with TV’s, they loved the physical sensation of wearing women’s clothes, as these clothes are typically made from soft, sensuous fabrics that can feel much more arousing than traditionally masculine attire. When you first crossdressed, was it the sexual thrill that you loved most about it? Can you recall your first time?
Sera: I believe you are correct, it was very sexually thrilling to me to be acting and dressing like the opposite sex. At first yes, it was the sexual thrill that drove me to crossdress. But shortly thereafter it became something that made me feel more free and open to myself. It brought about a feeling inside me that just made me feel more comfortable about who I am and what I want to be in life. My first time crossdressing was very minimal at the time. I mainly just wore a skin-tight spandex bodysuit with leggings and tissue paper stuffed into a bra and a mask over my face to hide my facial hair. It was also the first time I ever tried to wear makeup, lol. That first time was also the time in which I decided to make a Twitter page. I felt like I was a completely different person and I wanted to show the world who I was and what I became!
I could not be more pleased or excited about the way Sera opened up to me with her candid and well thought out replies. I hope you’ll want to get to know even more about her so please follow her on Twitter @SeraGlamTrap. I hope you’ve enjoyed our interview. Feel free to comment here, on Sera’s Twitter or on mine at @tscaramel.