Caramel: Thank you for doing this interview with me, Jesse. I’ve been a fan of your website TS-Jesse.com since it was first launched. I remember when you made your adult industry debut on Grooby Girls in 2006. Were you living in NYC then?
Jesse: No, actually that shoot was shot in L.A. even though that photographer is usually shooting in NYC. It was a rare event.
Caramel: Before TS-Jesse.com was launched, did you ever have ‘so-called’ professional developers, webmasters and producers promise you that they’d create the website of your dreams for you, only to let you down later?
Jesse: Oh yeah, I had a couple of messes of people who were supposed to do a site for me. One group was a couple of guys who ran a genetic women’s site, so they knew nothing of transsexuals. They were just intrigued by me and had crushes on me. lol. They didn’t know what they were doing and it was just taking forever and nothing really came out of it. So I left them. Then I tried a few other times to just be brought to Vegas two times to meet guys that ended up being creeps hoping I’d fuck them and had no interest in actually helping me with a site. So I left.
Caramel: Unfortunately, this is not the first time I’ve heard a story like that. Did you first get your feet wet in the industry by doing amateur cam shows?
Jesse: Yes, I used to do webcam shows before I got into the industry.
Caramel: I see webcam shows as great a venue for established porn stars as it is for newbies trying to make their mark. You grew up in a small California town called Norco and were often mistaken as a genetically born female, with guys chasing you since you were in your teens. Did your parents pick up on that?
Jesse: Yeah, I pretty much lived as a genetic girl growing up. They knew how I lived as it was obvious I wasn’t a boy and no one saw me as one.
Caramel: So it’s safe to assume that your mom wasn’t exactly bewildered when you decided to live as a female for life.
Jesse: Nope. When I told her, she just said “DUH!” lol.
Caramel: But did your parents freak out when you told them you’d become a porn star? Or were they supportive when they found out?
Jesse: No, my parents know everything I do and are totally fine with it, especially since I grew up in extreme poverty and I now take care of them. I don’t think they would pass judgment on what provides for them. My mom even wants to see some of my pics as she thinks I’m so beautiful, which is funny. My parents know I’m a good person and I’m being safe and not making stupid choices. It’s no big deal to them.
Caramel: Your ethnicity is Caucasian, Mexican, Irish, German, and French. Which comes from your mom’s side and which from your dad’s?
Jesse: Everything is from my mom’s side except the Mexican which is from my dad’s side.
Caramel: Growing up in school, you had to deal with bullying, yet managed to graduate with high honors. But you were you lonely? Did you get to date at all while in high school and find a boyfriend?
Jesse: I was very lonely and I still am. I grew up with no friends. Only people I said “hi” to in school, but never hung out with or did anything with. I did date when I was in high school, but I dated older guys, not anyone in high school. My first boyfriend was like 11 yrs older than me.
Caramel: Your favorite subjects in high school were Art and Photography. Are you still drawing, painting, and taking pictures?
Jesse: Drawing and painting not really, but photography, yes. I do a lot of my own shoots for my site and bought tons of video cameras and photo cameras. Great models make great photographers usually. Plus, I took photography for four years. I’m really good at getting great shots, but I still need to learn the settings on the camera for different effects. But I’m always learning new stuff.
Caramel: When you first became a major hit in the TS porn scene, how much did it change your dating opportunities with men? Was there a major spike?
Jesse: Nothing changed really. I was getting used before by creeps using me for a TS fantasy and still do, even after I became famous for porn, so there’s not really much of a difference. I was still able to find good real serious boyfriends in between the creeps.
Caramel: I’m glad for you for that. There are still some good guys out there. You broke your TS/TS cherry with Hazel Tucker in her DVD Hazel Does Hollywood, and she lost hers, too in the film as a matter of fact. Was it weird for you to get it on with another TS and also later on with genetic females being that you’re straight?
Jesse: It was a little weird, especially since we were friends, It’s so weird to fuck your friend haha. Plus I’m not physically attracted to women or TS’s, only men. So it’s really hard to do those shoots, but I’m able to do it, thankfully as it adds to my versatility and expands my work opportunities.
Caramel: I can recall the next time I saw you in a trans lesbian scene was with you and Jessica Host on Transational Fantasies. Like with Hazel, those scenes were so amazingly real and convincing. After that, were you ever mistaken as bisexual and approached by other TSs and GGs outside of your work? If so, how did you handle it?
Jesse: Actually the scene with Jessica Host was first, but it was just an oral scene. Hazel was the first time I’d had sex with another TS. I’ve been approached by other transsexuals and genetic women mainly just because they were into me. I don’t know if they necessarily thought I was bisexual.
Caramel: I think they were just hopeful. Steve Volpini of Goodfellas who produced America’s Next Top Trans Season 4 said you could probably cut diamonds with your cock. I understand that you’re not still on hormones or need to use Viagra or Cialis to achieve and maintain an erection.
Jesse: Actually I’ve never been on hormones. I never felt the need for them. I’m all natural, aside from the boob job obviously haha. Gotta keep things functioning perfectly as that’s why I don’t need Viagra or anything. There’s nothing messing with my functioning, so I’m fully functional and everything works perfectly haha.
Caramel: You had your first boob job at 21 and later went from 1st implants of 800CC to 1000cc without looking cartoonish. Were you ever terrified that it might not turn out as well as it did?
Jesse: Well two years ago, before I went to the 1000cc’s, I had an implant change and the doctor did a horrible job and left me with a hole in my breast that got infected and turned my right breast rock hard with scar tissue, so hard it was gonna explode the implant. My left implant was leaking also, so I was in trouble. He was a real disaster, which was surprising, as I got them done in Beverly Hills. So I thought I was safe, but I guess you never are 100%, especially when the doctor doesn’t specialize in it.
Last year, I ended up having to spend $14,000 to fix all the damage the old doctor caused. That was when we went to 1000cc’s and the new doctor fixed the scar tissue issue I had and made me normal again. I was a mess and was very embarrassed by what had happened, so I didn’t really say anything to anyone.
The few shoots I did while this was happening, I hid my breasts whenever I could with my hair, or I kept my top on to hide them. Thankfully, all that is over. However, I would like to get another boob job in the future when I fully recover from the past damage. But it’s too soon to think of a new boob job as it’s only been a year lol.
Caramel: Did you experience any post-surgery depression?
Jesse: Oh yes, very much. Several times after the disaster boob job, I was heavily depressed for a year as it was gonna cost so much to fix and I was so embarrassed and was so let down. I’d also been previously depressed when I attempted some face surgeries two years ago as it was the same doctor who fucked up my boob job. He basically ripped me off and nothing really changed except I was $30,000 poorer lol. My mom even thought I looked the same basically and I got, “I told u not to do it,” from everyone, which didn’t help the depression.
Caramel: Did you ever feel so low that you came close to taking drastic measures with your life?
Jesse: Yes, I have attempted suicide a couple of times actually when I was younger. I’m a sad person though I smile all the time to hide the fact I’m hurting and lonely inside. It sucks feeling like that and I don’t like it, but sometimes it’s hard to not feel so low when things are just so hard, especially because being a TS, you get an extra hard life. I want a happy life and want to have fun, but it never seems to happen to me. It’s kinda sad to think about, but I try to look past it and keep on trying. Hopefully, things will get better.
Caramel: Jesse, there are so many men out there who’d kill and die for the chance to keep you happy in every way you can imagine. Your personality shines through your work, not to mention your looks. The sadness many people expect to hear about from adult entertainers is a lot different from what you’re going through, however.
A lot of people have misconceptions about porn stars, but your lifestyle doesn’t support popular myths. You don’t drink, do drugs, smoke, or party often in general. You don’t cheat on boyfriends and you leave your work at work. How do you manage to focus and separate your lifestyle from that of what so many people expect from a porn star?
Jesse: Well, I’m a relationship girl and it’s always been a goal of mine to have a happy normal relationship with a good guy. So in order for me to have that, I have to separate the two lives as it makes it easier for the guys to deal with and accept it as just a job. It’s easier to forget about when you’re not reminded of it. That’s always been my way of dealing with it.
All the drugs, drinking, and smoking just don’t appeal to me. I don’t need them to function or have fun, so I avoid them as they bring nothing but trouble and they take such a toll on your body and beauty.
Caramel: I had a good Latino friend in high school whose last name was Flores. A lot of guys used to make fun of his last name translated to “flowers” in English and it was his Achilles heel since he was such a macho kid and a lady killer. I’m glad you didn’t, but did you ever consider changing your last name?
Jesse: Well, I never intended for anyone to be using my last name as this is my real name, so I was just using Jesse for porn (no last name). But everyone thought it was okay to use my last name when it got out, which it is not. But it’s too late as everyone knows it haha. Luckily my first name is unisex so never needed to change that. As to changing my last name, never. Though I didn’t want to use it for work and I still don’t actually, people and companies use it without my consent lol. But it’s too late now haha.
Caramel: You’re perhaps the best TS top in the business and one of the highest paid. You come off as such an A-type transwoman, but is it true that you’re still pretty shy and introverted?
Jesse: Oh, I’m very shy and introverted. I wish I wasn’t as I would love to be out there having fun and meeting people and having everyone wanting to be my friend, but it just never happened for me. I must not be cool enough for people to want to hang out with me and be good friends haha. But part of it is because of being a TS I feel nervous and closed off when in public.
I’m uncomfortable as I’m paranoid someone will think they know and be mean to me and that’s a terrible feeling, even if it’s not going to happen. I can’t help but worry and it makes me not enjoy life and withdraw from things to avoid the possible situation. I’m very passable, but I still get whispered about occasionally and it breaks my heart and makes me feel bad. So it’s just built up the introversion in me and made me even more shy. I’m hoping to get over it more and more, which I have been, but it’s still there sadly.
Caramel: Isis Love directed you in the icon “Road Trip” video series on TS Seduction. After about your 17th shoot with that site, I lost count, but I love your work there because it’s obvious that you really enjoy being dominant. It seems to come to you naturally. I’ve seen you bottoming at your site TS-Jesse and it’s just as convincing there, but are you more of a top by nature?
Jesse: I’ve done over 20 films for that site, but I no longer work for them as they no longer wanted me for some reason, but yeah, I’m mainly a top by nature. But I’m versatile, so I enjoy bottoming also when required for shoots. In my personal life, I enjoy it on occasion. When someone earns it lol, they gotta turn me on and lick me or something to make me want it. But it’s all part of me still being in charge and I’m topping from the bottom still haha.
Caramel: The fans from that site adore you, I’ve read the reviews there and I just don’t get why you haven’t been invited back. Anyway, what sort of guy are you looking for? More specifically, since you’re making money for yourself, what do you want in a relationship with a man?
Jesse: I like normal guys and it’s most important that they are good guys; reliable, romantic, faithful, caring and they want a serious relationship with me. That’s what I look for as I’m looking for the long run. I’d like to get married someday. Plus, a cute butt helps haha.
Caramel: You can say that again. Some transsexuals play what I think is a dangerous game, dating guys and not telling them upfront about their gender. At what point do you feel that it’s appropriate to tell a person that you’re a transsexual when you know they’re thinking you’re a GG (genetic girl)?
Jesse: When I was in high school, that was the only time I didn’t tell guys when I went out on dates. I was afraid to tell them because they thought I was a genetic girl, so I didn’t know what to say. But now I only go out with someone who already knows I’m a TS and what I do for work. So I use dating sites to find a boyfriend as I can’t easily find a guy who knows on the street or at a bookstore lol.
Caramel: I think that one of the best features of your website is the Fan Fuxxx series in which your fans actually get to get it on with you on film. Do you do the filming for Fan Fuxxx yourself?
Jesse: Yes, I do the filming myself.
Caramel: Well you’re doing a great job! Most guys I know would be a complete basket case if they had the opportunity to have sex with their favorite porn star. Do you have any cute or funny stories about that?
Jesse: Not really any cute or funny stories. There have been a couple of guys who lost their bottoming virginity on the fan series with me and even one guy who lost his virginity in general to me on film, so those were special events.
Caramel: Before Fan Fuxxx, how did you know that your fans would go nuts over the themes and role play and that they weren’t just interested in seeing the average glamour nude shots and videos? Did you know this instinctively, from requests, or a combination of both?
Jesse: Well all my ideas and shoots come from my imagination and creativity and what I want to do or wear, or just me changing things up to be fresh and different. I don’t like to be like everyone else. I want to stand out. I thought the fan series would be different, special, and popular and it is, so I’m very happy I came up with the idea. Plus, it’s fun to give fans that special experience with me.
Caramel: It sure does! It’s not just the real-time experiences that those fans get. You seem to have an innate sense of what your fan base wants, from foot fetishists to comic enthusiasts to BDSM. I can’t think of a niche you haven’t excelled at.
I used to listen to Howard Stern daily before his move to Sirius Satellite Radio, so I’m quite familiar with how outrageous he and his crew can be. You appeared in the Howard Stern 2010 “Best Beautiful Transsexuals” Contest. Was Howard respectful during your appearance?
Jesse: Oh yeah, Howard and Robin Quivers and the rest of the crew all thought I was gorgeous and very nice to me, but the two judges he had were big homophobes. So when it was revealed I have a big cock and I don’t want to get rid of it, and worse yet to them that I’m a top, I was pretty much disqualified in their eyes. The judges were not into me at all after that and were quite rude to me so that kinda sucked as it felt like they basically thought of me as a dude after that.
Everyone else on the show was a bottom and talked about SRS, so I automatically lost before the contest even began. ( I even got told afterward that those guys were crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about by many of the crew and Howard and Robin), but oh well, I can’t change it now.
Caramel: You were nominated for AVN’s Best TS Performer of the Year three times. Do you think that you haven’t won yet because you don’t play the game, so to speak? Do you see the award ceremonies in general as popularity contests instead of accolades based on talent and hard work?
Jesse: Out of the three years I was nominated, I’ve only felt that Wendy Williams deserved to win as she’s a great performer and hard worker. So I was happy to lose to her. Now as for the last two times I lost, based on my reputation and reviews I’m definitely a better performer than those who won (congrats to them). So I was disappointed to not win.
I’m not trying to say anything rude, but I’m being honest about how I felt about continuing to lose. But now that I’m more aware of PR being a key factor to winning, I’m hoping now that I’m more out there and now that I have my toy line with California Exotics, hopefully, this coming AVN awards ceremony will finally be my year. Crossing fingers!!!!
Caramel: Ah, yes! How is your toy line doing and do you get a percentage of sales or did they pay you a one-time licensing fee?
Jesse: I was paid as a model, which actually brings me more money all at once than a percentage does, as it takes longer to see the money that way. I believe the toy line is doing quite well, especially the dildo.
Caramel: I can certainly see why it’s doing well and I greatly admire your business acumen. More about what makes you tick. Do you have any erogenous zones?
Jesse: I love to have my ass licked, my toes sucked and licked, and the back of my neck.
Caramel: You’re a cinephile. What are some of your favorite movies?
Jesse: I’m a huge movie buff and have too many favs to list. My favorite movie is Gremlins lol. I love horror movies, so I love all the staple series stuff like Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare On Elm St, etc., and I also love silly parody comedies. I’ll have a good cry every now and then from a drama.
Caramel: What sort of music do you listen to mostly?
Jesse: I’ll listen to all types as long as it’s catchy and stick in my head, but I mainly listen to Pop music as I love to sing along and have fun.
Caramel: If you knew a transsexual who you thought had everything it takes to make it as an adult performer, what advice would you give her?
Jesse: I’ve actually given advice to a few new girls in the form of; appreciating anything that gets handed to you, working hard to keep it and being nice to people, and staying away from the bad things in life like drugs, alcohol, and smoking as they will shorten your career.
Caramel: If you ever get tired of performing, do you think you might someday move into directing and producing?
Jesse: Yes, that’s the hopeful plan to move behind the scenes and become a director/producer/photographer. That’s where the real money is and I want to be the one who owns everything!
Thank you for reading our interview! Follow Jesse on Twitter at @jesseflo. Join her Official Website TS-Jesse.com.